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swtaznbballgurl
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Name: raCheL
Birthday: 3/24/1991
Gender: Female
Interests: basketball, track&field, horseback riding, ichthus<3, kik`n it with friends
[[ » ]] GG & i[[ « ]]
Expertise: stufffffff, just stuffffff (:
if you`re asking if i need you ,
the answer is forever ...
if you`re asking if i`ll leave you ,
the answer is never ...
if you`re asking what i value ,
the answer is you ...
if you`re asking if i love you ,
the answer is i do .
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  a Z n a N g e L x r 8 c h 3 L
Member Since:
7/28/2003
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| i don`t even know .
i never realize how things can get so frustrating after less than a day. and the frustrating matter never really goes away, because i keep it in my mind and it builds more and more inside me. and then when i think everything`s okay, i totally ignore the person in front of me and shut them out. and that`s when i realize that i`m still frustrated and i get frustrated that i`m frustrated and then i`m also frustrated about what was frustrating me and the whole day just goes downhill from there . and i`m sorry, but you don`t seem to accept that because i`m building on your frustration as well; and i don`t mean to. and i just don`t know what to do
BUT, i must say, God`s amazing. and works in very mysterious ways. when i feel like i`m at my lowest, a friend or two always seems to talk with me, even though i haven`t spoke with them in a long time. He has the most perfect timing and knows how i will feel and when i`ll feel it. i`m so amazed at his timing and i just know that everything`s okay. in these times, i realize that i really have to trust Him and lean on Him for everything. He`s got me and isn`t letting go; which just makes this day a little less frustrating (=
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well this day`s been crazy / but everything happened on schedule / from the rain and the cold / to the drink that i spilled on my shirt / cause You knew how You`d save me / before i fell dead in the garden / and You knew this day long / before You made me out of dirt // and You know the plans that You have for me / and You can`t plan the end and not plan the means / and so i suppose i just need some peace / just to get me to sleep .
honestly, i`m not that strong / i`m not alright, i`m broken inside / and all i go through, it leads me to you .
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| i cannot believe that i`m actually filing out all these college apps. i remember last year when i was talking with the grade above me and how they were all filing out apps. at that moment i already started missing them. i remember thinking about next year, how they wouldn`t be around. as the year came around and they all left for their various colleges, i was sad in the beginning, but then i was okay. i`d talk with them and they would tell me stories about their college life. i became really excited for college. i couldn`t wait to leave! but now, as i`m actually filing these out, i really don`t want to go. this year just started.. and soo many things have been happening, and i just really want to stop filing out apps and stay where i am. but i want to leave, but stay.. i don`t really know anymore. i thought i did . in addition, there are things around in my life that are really starting to annoy me. to a point where i seriously do not know what to do about it. &it`s not something that`s possible to force on to someone or people. but i guess i`ll just take each day as it comes.
on a side note: tomorrow`s our first basketballgame. kindof exciting ..? (:
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right here, right now / i`m looking at you and my heart loves the view / cause you mean everything // right here, i promise you somehow / that tomorrow can wait for some other day to be / but right now there`s you and me // oh we know its coming / and it`s coming fast (as long when there`s you and me) / so let`s make the second last, make it last
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| thank you .
for everything
thankyou
for caring
for being there
when i don`t want you to be
for giving me a shoulder to lean on
to cry on
for helping me up when i`m down
for just caring
even when i tell you to not
through thick&thin
we`ll make it
i don`t tell you this enough
and i really do appreciate it
but i never really tell you
thank you .
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| quick update .
let's see..
school: busy
volleyball: 6 more games, i do believe. more if we actually make playoffs.. which i dont know anymore. our season`s been okay, but there are still some things that really annoy me. and i just fully realized it today. but it`s not really one of those things to solve because it`s barely possible. so i`ll just have to suck it up, i guess.
basketball: i can`t wait (= ,sorry volleyball .
church: i actually really really miss the graduates. =[ it`s so weird and different. so weird being the oldest. i miss them . "/
life: it`s getting better. not saying that there`s no problems, because there probably are.. but nothing`s really been up much, like publicly ? if that makes any sense. but i`m always still up to talk.
& i miss going to ichthus =[
ughh, late volleyball games.. "/
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so since you want to be with me / you`ll have to follow through / with every word you say / and i, all i really want is you / for you to stick around / i`ll see you everyday / but you`ll have to follow through // oh, this is the start of something new, don`t you agree?
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i always fought for what felt right / cause you`re the one i want here in my life // hold on / all the while just thinking about now / in time we`re gonna see how this works out / let go of what you fear and / hold on to what you`re losing / cuz i can`t do this on my own
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| ahhhh, more rumors "/
seriously guys? just stop .
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